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Notes about Feedback

feedback communication

as Winston Churchill wisely put it: “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”

This is the time of the year where most of people is in a self reflecting mode.
Setting new year resolutions for our life and work.

A part of the habits that I have always have in my career, is to ask for feedback, ever since I started my career in Germany, feedback has been a constant.

In most of cases was poorly delivered, and in some cases it harmed my professional confidence and progress.

Therefore, for a number of years I have been somewhat being involved on giving or receiving feedback, and I can say that yet I am not a master at giving and receiving feedback, I have collected some knowledge and tools, which I tend to when I want to ask for, give, or receive feedback.

Feedback given: common mistakes * Message addressed at the identity of the person * General non actionable feedback * Message that communicates underlying or direct disrespect * Message ambiguous missing a proposal for a solution * Ambiguous or unclear for fear of upsetting the receiver or damaging the relationship * Feedback given in order to fulfill a personal agenda

Feedback received: common mistakes * Lack of respect to the person that gives the feedback * Adopt a defensive behaviour * Lack of confidence on yourself to receive feedback openly * Not asking for examples and/or situations where the behaviour was exibited * Not asking for advice on behaviours that would solve it

Ideas to have to prepare to give good feedback * Plan in advance * Give promptly, right after the event * Think about what you want to achieve and drive discussion accordingly * One-on-one feedback is preferable * Start gently * Be specific * Encourage self-reflection * Be aware of nonverbal clues * Self-reflect after the feedback session is completed

Ideas to have to prepare to receive feedback from an untrained person * If you are given feedback think of yourself as a coach, helping the person to learn on how to give effective feedback * Rephrase into actionable behaviour, or ask for it. * If the person comes with no agenda, or does not state the goal, state it your "Thank you for being here and open to give me feedback, it is important to me. My goal today is to understand clearly what your persective is, so that I can reflect on it and decide what my actions about it will be" * If the tone of the conversation builds up: "we both want to remmember this conversation as a dignified experience for both" * Ask for clarification * Pause and think before respond, like the stoics

Some old blogpost of me on:

give:
https://medium.com/@danielavalero/four-steps-to-give-feedback-as-an-act-of-love-and-respect-with-the-other-3000eb0be6e0
receive:
https://medium.com/@danielavalero/how-to-receive-feedback-and-not-die-trying-53e7c4cfbcb6

A nice PDF short guide on tips to give and receive feedback effectively
What I like:
Is short, I can scan through it before entering a feedback session as a receiver or giver.
https://www.dartmouth.edu/hrs/profldev/performance_management/feedback.pdf

Worksheet to use to write down feedback
I like: is specific and actionable, helps to frame my thoughts clearly
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KTH4owMH8BA3NWX7i7fTmdt7cBdiLv0PBrnO7vLl4ik/edit

Email and form to ask for feedback

feedback tools career