feminism self-insight understandMyself
Becoming a woman
Simone de Beauvoir said once that we are not born women, we become.
-- What is to be a woman then? If what I am today is not a woman, then what does it mean to be a woman? --
I asked my self back then. I knew that what I was back them, was a rebel without cause. I always followed my impulses. When someone told me to behave in a certain manner, I tried it, but soon enough, I would know with my guts, not with my rational brain, that I did not belong to that box. And I moved on, searching.
Not always refusing to behave in the way I was told was received positively, as a matter of facts, many times this awoke in a way the "fury of the beast" that is the pathriarcal morality. There were not many extreme situations in my life, but some of them, made a big impact in my life, in those moments when it happened, I ran away faster. I was a good rebel: I tried the requested behaviour, if it didn't work, I moved on and searched a new community, a new city, a new social group, a new country, a new culture. New morals.
What I am saying is: I have always been in the search of what it means to become a woman, as well as I have suffered, but I kept walking.
Today I feel that I finally became a woman. And from a place of having embraced myself as the woman I am, I want to share with you my journey. I don't know who are you, or if you, a reader, will ever exist, but I sharing my journey is something that I do for you as much as I do for myself.
Writing this down, is also a way for me to describe what is to be a woman, how does it feel. Why how does it feel? because I always asked myself this question. I did not admit it it, but I always asked myself: How does it feel to be a woman?. But I did not ask it with my neocortex, I asked it with my reptilian brain. I asked it to myself with my guts.
A victim
During years I have been feeling victim of mysoginism. I have been hurting for the effects that subconsous bias and patriarchal moral has had in my life.
Many times I have been called uncomfortable things, told to behave in a certain way, be exiled from social groups when I have revelled against those request.
Yet I have been a victim, I have also been a rebel, and I am proud of it. I have been focused for so long, on how much it hurts to be constantly asked to behave in a manner that conforms with the idea that women are less than men, and all the implications that has on my flourishing as a woman.
Finally, after long time, I see things clearly, I see how important is to deal with our pain, feel it through, all the way, cry it out, with all our hearts. Be angry, and scream it out loud, explode, let it all out. I have acknowledged my pain, and I have comforted myself. I have given me what I needed, and what I wanted, I have been kind to myself, and allowed me to feel that pain, as long as was needed, so that I could heal.
A note on feeling and expressing your emotions:
It is important to express emotions in a healthy manner, avoid self destructive behaviours.f you are not sure if your way to express your emotions is self destructive, or destructive to others, the best thing to do, is talk to a therapist. Friends are also good, but the best person to talk to you about this, is a therapist. They can help you identify and get over any unhealthy manner to express and feel your emotions, and can also get you on a high way to overcome your pain and heal.
Only after healing your pain, you can go to a next step: be a rebel
A rebel
Quotes
La académica de la Casa de Bello agrega: “Esto es lo que plantea Simone de Beauvoir desde El segundo sexo. La mujer es un sujeto que debe hacerse cargo de sí misma, armar su historia a partir de una deconstrucción de los conceptos y valores que la han normado a ella y que ha aceptado pasivamente. Este segundo ciclo, de reconocimiento, es el comienzo de los feminismos de la actualidad”. https://www.latercera.com/culto/2020/07/06/el-segundo-sexo-cuando-simone-de-beauvoir-fundo-el-feminismo/
‘Solo después de que las mujeres empiezan a sentirse en esta tierra como en su casa, se ve aparecer una Rosa Luxemburgo, una madame Curie. Ellas demuestran deslumbrantemente que no es la inferioridad de las mujeres lo que ha determinado su insignificancia’. Rescato su profundidad, su pensamiento crítico”.
“Así es. Necesitamos desprendernos de los constructos culturales para saber quiénes somos. Ahí tenemos que preguntarnos (y de Beauvoir nos ayuda): ¿Qué significa set mujer? ¿De qué manera esto nos corroe? ¿Nos resume? ¿Nos forma? Esa concepción cambia con el tiempo, con los años. El feminismo nos have otras mujeres. A los hombres los have otros hombres. Nos vuelve más humanos, más sensibles, más iguales, más libres. Simone de Beauvoir fue profundamente original. Su escritura, su pensamiento, su dialéctica es revolucionaria. Y lo seguirá siendo. Ella creía en un solo género: el humano. Ese es el futuro. Una sociedad basada en la fraternidad. El resto importa poco”.